Rocky Mountain Ramblings

RIP Big Red – An Obituary For a Car January 7, 2010

Filed under: Ain't Life Grand — rovinglady @ 4:09 pm

DOVER, NJ – Lauren Camel’s 1994 Buick Regal, who proudly cruised around town with a rainbow hula hoop in her back seat, has officially been declared dead. She was 16.

The Buick Regal, AKA, Big Red, suffered from declining health in her old age. Having traveled 227,500 miles, she no longer had control of holding in gasoline or oil. Camel recalls never being able to put more than $7 worth of gasoline in at a time, otherwise it “leaked all over the place.”

Camel acquired the car in April 2009 for $300, hoping it would last for the summer so that she could carry out seasonal employment in a neighboring town.

Camel described her relationship with Big Red as being “love/hate.” The car was ugly, old, and rather embarrassing, but it got Camel where she wanted or needed to go. For a while the starter was going, and she was never confident the car would start back up if she turned it off while out and about in the world. Yes, Big Red caused Camel some tears and frustration; however, being her 6th shitty car, Camel is a self-proclaimed “professional jump starter.” (Red to red on the dead, first.)

Seeing that the car miraculously lasted the summer, Camel finally replaced the starter in the fall of 2009. Big Red appeared to be running like a champ! She never had a problem starting, even in 15 degree weather. Still, out of a combination of habit and precautionary measures, Camel continued to back Big Red into a parking spot every time.

But then came the accident.

On Monday Dec, 21, 2009, at approximately noon, while traveling in the eastbound lane of Route 46 in Dover, NJ, Big Red collided with an Acura Integra whose driver made a boo boo at a stop sign. The police came and the driver that had the stop sign was issued a ticket for “failure to stop.”

Camel was able to drive Big Red home from the scene of the accident, though the car suffered from some major trauma to the front end. She continued to drive the car around locally for the next three weeks while waiting for an insurance appraisal, though considered it to be in “critical condition.”

Big Red was finally appraised on Jan. 5, 2010 and officially declared totaled. She is being carried to her final resting spot (some junk yard) on Friday, Jan, 8. 2010.

Services will not be held for Big Red, as nobody is very upset over the situation.

Camel is receiving $1,050 from the insurance company of the woman at fault, so she feels she is making out well. Thank you, woman who sucks at stop signs! That accident was the best thing that could have happened to Camel, in regards to Big Red.

RIP Camel’s 6th shit mobile. Wonder what the next treasure boat will be?

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